Metabolizing Trauma: A Path to Healing for Helpers and Advocates

Trauma doesn’t just live in the past; it lives in our bodies.
It settles deep in our muscles, our breath, our posture, our sleep.

And for those of us in helping professions — lawyers, therapists, social workers, teachers, advocates and others — it often doesn’t come from what happened to us, but from what we’ve borne witness to in others.

As Bessel van der Kolk writes in The Body Keeps the Score, “Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”

Yet when we absorb others’ trauma, our own sense of safety becomes compromised.

I’ve learned that healing requires more than just time.
It requires metabolizing trauma by processing it in a way that allows our minds, bodies, and spirits to release what they’re holding.

Left unchecked, trauma doesn’t disappear. It festers.
It hijacks our nervous systems, clouds our judgment, and if we’re not careful, it leaks out sideways, onto clients, colleagues, or the people we love.

In my own experience, metabolizing trauma is a three-part process:

1. Mental Release: Reclaiming the Story

This might look like therapy, journaling, or talking with someone who can help you make meaning out of what you’ve witnessed.

It’s about getting the story out of your head and onto the page, or into the room, so it can lose its grip and gain perspective.

2. Physical Release: Moving the Energy

Our bodies are brilliant. They absorb what we can’t process.
But they also know how to let go, if we let them.

That might mean a long run, a hot bath, a massage, a spontaneous dance session in your living room, or even crying in the car.

Sweating, stretching, or simply breathing deeply are all ways the body begins to release what it’s holding.

3. Spiritual Release: Connecting to Something Greater

Healing also happens in the spaces that remind us we’re not alone.
For some, that’s prayer.
For others, meditation, ritual, music, or time in nature.

Whatever brings you into alignment with something larger than yourself, that’s your gateway to spiritual healing.

But here’s the part we rarely talk about:

Sometimes, releasing trauma just means letting ourselves feel.

In the moment, especially in high-stakes roles like law, we’re trained to compartmentalize.
We stay composed for our clients.
We use our prefrontal cortex to strategize.
We suppress the grief or rage that might otherwise knock us off center.

And we should, in the moment.

But what happens after the moment passes?

Those emotions don’t vanish. They take up residence.
And if we don’t make space to feel them later, they lodge themselves in our bodies, waiting for release.

A Personal Reflection

Not long ago, a client called me in distress.
I had ten minutes to talk to her between Zoom meetings. I did what I could, offered grounding, compassion, presence, and then jumped into my next meeting.

I tried my best to shift gears into this meeting, but I wasn’t okay. The weight of that call lingered.

The old me would’ve powered through.
Plastered on a smile.
Kept it moving.

Instead, I said, “I need a few minutes.”
I turned off my camera. I stepped away. I let myself feel.

Not just think, or fix, or file it away, but actually feel the emotions that call stirred up inside of me.

And you know what?
It helped.
It released just enough of the weight to return, fully present, for the next person who needed me.

Give Yourself Permission

To cry.
To rage.
To grieve.
To rest.

To write your truth.
To feel heartbreak.
To be human.

Because the alternative is carrying trauma in your bones for the rest of your life, and maybe passing it on.

Let’s choose something different.

Let’s metabolize it.

This post builds on themes from my last reflection, Bearing Witness to Suffering. If you haven’t read it yet, I invite you to check it out.